Potty Humour and Guilt

What did one burp say to the other burp?

Let's go out the back door 

(ha ha, fart humour. That one's for you, Kate!)

My Lemon Boy LOVES this joke! It's his go-to joke for anytime he wants to make someone laugh. He learned it from Grandpa (thanks Dad) but I have to admit, it makes me laugh pretty much every time too.

You see the eyelashes on this kid? Here, take a closer look.

Super long and naturally curl up. Is it wrong to be jealous of my son's eyelashes?

I love this picture, I think my son's the cutest kid around. Yet there's one jarring note. The tooth or rather, the lack of a tooth.

I mentioned here that Lemon Boy was getting a tooth removed and that it was the result of an accident. What I couldn't share, at that time, was exactly how the accident happened or that it was completely my fault.

It was in late March 2012. I had been back at work at the bank for just over two months. It was an hour commute each way and I had to leave my house at 6:30am to get to work on time. Added to this was the fact that when I returned from maternity leave the bank decided to place me in another department so it was practically like starting a new job and I don't deal well with change. Stress and exhaustion were constant.

That particular evening we had to pick Claudio up from somewhere. I was tired and Lemon Boy was acting up, running around and not listening to anything I said. We were fighting (that's how tired I was, I was fighting with a three year old!) and I remember being angry, so angry! I yelled at Lemon Boy to get over here right now! We have to go get Daddy!

The next part gets a little fuzzy. I can't remember in the heat of the moment whether I knew he was running towards me or if he was already standing beside me or what but I remember I opened the door with WAY more force than was necessary and I'll never forget the feeling of it connecting with his little face.

Before I even looked down I knew what had happened.

Lemon Boy started screaming and I started crying, sobbing actually. There was blood everywhere and I grabbed him and rushed him to the bathroom, grabbed some toilet paper and tried to stop the flow of blood. I was afraid to look inside his mouth, afraid of what I'd done. I remember thinking "I've broken him! I've damaged my beautiful boy, how could I do that?? I'm so stupid!"

When we got the bleeding to stop I finally looked. His two front teeth were pushed all the way in and one was slightly chipped. His top gums were so swollen he couldn't close his lips. I didn't know what to do so I loaded both boys up and went to get Claudio. I cried all the way there and as soon as I saw Claudio, fresh tears came. I could hardly get out what had happened. Luckily Claudio was much more level headed than me and managed to get a hold of our dentist who met us at his clinic right away. He took a look and said there was really nothing we could do at that point but wait and see. He warned however, that one or both of the teeth may have to be pulled at a future date if infection set in.

It took awhile but the swelling went down and amazingly the teeth which had both gone quite dark, went back to white and actually pretty much straightened out as well! And for a time I pushed the incident to the back of my mind. You couldn't really see the chip unless you knew what you were looking for and Lemon Boy pretty much forgot about it (three year olds can be pretty resilient).

A year and a half later and my husband brings Lemon Boy back from a routine cleaning at the dentist. The dentist says we have to pull one of his front teeth, Claudio tells me. There's an infection in the gums and he's worried that it will damage the adult tooth. The best prevention is to pull the tooth.

The day before we had the tooth pulled

Guilt. It hung heavy on my heart. I knew it was only a baby tooth and when the adult one grew in it would be only a memory. Yet I had never really dealt with my guilt. I felt wretched every time I thought about it and everything within me resisted the pulling of that tooth. I didn't want to do it! I considered getting a second opinion but knew in my heart that it had to be done. Yet I knew every time I looked at that smile, I'd see my mistake. In my anger I'd hurt my little boy. My failure as a mother. I know, I'm being a little dramatic but it's honestly the way I felt and sometimes still feel.

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard." Romans 3:23

I fail as a mom often. Sometimes I wonder how my boys could possibly grow up to be strong men of God with a mother like me raising them! Yet God's been speaking to me lately and I'm realizing that there's no way I can be a perfect mom. In fact, I don't think that it would help my kids if I was a perfect mom. My boys need to learn that we all fail. We all make mistakes and we all have to pick ourselves up and apologize to the one's we've wronged and then try, try again.

Here is the amazing part though,

"For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." Psalm 103:11-12

God loves us! He knows we will sin and when we repent and turn to Him our sins are wiped away. God doesn't keep a scorecard. He doesn't hold yesterday's failures over our head today. Yes, sometimes the consequences of our actions last longer (the dentist said judging from the x-rays, Lemon Boy's tooth won't grow in for another 2 years *sigh*) Yet the guilt doesn't need to. Isn't that amazing?

 

So here's to losing the guilt but hopefully no more teeth, unless it's the natural way.