More Grace, please?

So some of you may be wondering how the whole fostering thing is going. Well in some ways it has been very easy. But in some ways it is very hard. Sometimes I wonder what God was thinking. I truly believe that He placed Domingo in our home (read that story here) but sometimes I wonder why?? I am so inadequate. What do I know about raising a teenager? Am I really doing a good job? Am I doing the best job that I can? There is a tremendous amount of guilt because I know I would do anything for my boys, give up my life for them even, but what am I willing to do for Domingo? I get annoyed because he doesn't load the dishwasher or put saran wrap on the bologna package after he opens it, but in the grand scheme of things do those little things really define him? He doesn't really ask for a lot, doesn't seem to expect that we would give of ourselves for him and so it is really easy not to. And when he does mess up, I don't feel I have the grace that I would have for my own children.

Until Domingo came into our lives I had never thought too much about fostering or adopting. I didn't consider the need for foster parents and never thought about adoption except for couples who couldn't have their own children. Now it seems I see it everywhere. God has really opened my eyes to the plight of children both here and all over the world who don't have parents to take care of them. I have no idea where God is leading me in this but I know having Domingo in our home was the first step.

So I am telling you all of this because I am asking for prayer. I have been so blessed in my life and I want to pass on some of those blessings to others. I need more patience and much, much more grace especially for myself! Most of all I want to listen and follow God's direction in my life and live pleasingly to Him.

For those of you who may be considering fostering or adopting, PLEASE don't be discouraged by my post. I want to paint a realistic picture of what fostering is like. You are taking a person who has not grown up in the same home as you, has not had the same values and upbringing as you or your children and even if they are well behaved, will still be differently behaved and not always understand or do what you think is the obvious thing to do.

All this being said, we have not had any problems with Domingo that I don't expect to have with my own sons when they get to be his age. He is a very normal teenager and although it hasn't always been easy I know it was the right choice. I pray that God will give me the grace to see Domingo through His eyes, and to extend the same grace to him that God has extended to me.